Last night me and my friend group had a campout in a field. I was really excited. Particularly because of my bi friend (lets call her... Tokyo) who i was planning on asking out. We'd made out a couple of times before and I thought she really liked me.
At the start of the summer (June) we were really close, we talked about going out but I said I needed time because my last two relationships failed due to bad timing and me losing interest, and I didn't want to do that to her. I needed me time to be crazy and have fun with people.
So last night we all got a bit pissed. Which was fun but I didn't drink as much as everyone (as per usual) so I could look after the fools. Tokyo was one of the fools. She got totally pissed and after we'd all been skinny dipping (in underwear) she was all over this guy (lets call him Biker) and he's quite a bit older (2 years) and doesn't drink. So he was sober and he let Tokyo do whatever.
She slept in his tent (just the two of them) and I didn't sleep in the end (like loads of us did) just stayed up all night in chairs under the stars. Plus I couldn't really sleep, I was that pissed off and depressed about Tokyo and Biker.
Anyway, in the morning she's got two hickys and it's obvious things went on in that tent. I just hate that. I wish it had been me. I feel like I've completely lost her. just when I'd decided that I wanted to commit to her. Completely. I guess she was perfectly entitled to do that with him but... It still hurt.
I'm depressed that we'll never be a couple, will never stay in all day in each other's arms watching movies. We'll never just pop round to say hi and have a quick kiss, never go out for dinner and play footsie under the table. She's so wonderful and I feel like I've ruined everything.
That was my sad story. There's more to come I'm sure.
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