In Love With Mr Fry

So happy day, I found out Stephen Fry has a website!!! WOOT it's http://www.stephenfry.com/ for anyone who's interested. He's the most amazing person ever to be honest. I would marry him you know? Even with his gayness, I'd marry him and have a none sexual relationship with him because he is soooo lovely.

Ok enought about him, let me tell you what's been going on. I spen all of yesterday depressed about Tokyo and Biker, they're going out. I feel like my future is over. We could have been so happy. I wish I hadn't been such a fool!!! She's the most amazing, beautiful, fantastic person I know. And I didn't get her. I didn't get the girl.

She kinda knows how I feel now. My friends have let stuff slip (which is ok with me to be honest) and then I've done a few obvious answers to this facebook note I did while very depressed about her. She's done the same note now too... And she's guilty! Loads of her answers pointed to our situlation.

I feel bad for making her think about all this when she should really just be happy with Biker. But I want her so. I wonder if this is love? Nah... Just extreme crushing lust.

I've gotta go sorry peoples, my friends are coming over in 3 hours and I need to tidy, get ready and shizz. Loveeeee *hugs* xxx

Last night

A sad tale for those who will listen.

Last night me and my friend group had a campout in a field. I was really excited. Particularly because of my bi friend (lets call her... Tokyo) who i was planning on asking out. We'd made out a couple of times before and I thought she really liked me.

At the start of the summer (June) we were really close, we talked about going out but I said I needed time because my last two relationships failed due to bad timing and me losing interest, and I didn't want to do that to her. I needed me time to be crazy and have fun with people.

So last night we all got a bit pissed. Which was fun but I didn't drink as much as everyone (as per usual) so I could look after the fools. Tokyo was one of the fools. She got totally pissed and after we'd all been skinny dipping (in underwear) she was all over this guy (lets call him Biker) and he's quite a bit older (2 years) and doesn't drink. So he was sober and he let Tokyo do whatever.

She slept in his tent (just the two of them) and I didn't sleep in the end (like loads of us did) just stayed up all night in chairs under the stars. Plus I couldn't really sleep, I was that pissed off and depressed about Tokyo and Biker.

Anyway, in the morning she's got two hickys and it's obvious things went on in that tent. I just hate that. I wish it had been me. I feel like I've completely lost her. just when I'd decided that I wanted to commit to her. Completely. I guess she was perfectly entitled to do that with him but... It still hurt.

I'm depressed that we'll never be a couple, will never stay in all day in each other's arms watching movies. We'll never just pop round to say hi and have a quick kiss, never go out for dinner and play footsie under the table. She's so wonderful and I feel like I've ruined everything.

That was my sad story. There's more to come I'm sure.

Nobody's reading this.

So I was wondering, how many blogs are actually read? Like to be honest I don't think mine ever Will be. So I'm not that bothered writing everything down with names changed... Or maybe not even changed. That would get annoying eventually.

I feel kinda Ill today. Don't really know why. I'm not a sickly person usually. Greenie is ill. That's what his facebook says. Could be lying. Could be just avoiding me. He used to think I was the bee's knees. Now... I don't know, things are different. He tells me about the people he likes... The guys hahaha! He's in lust with his best friend's boyfriend. Difficult situation and i don't envy him that. I do envy his looks and his body though... GORGEOUS. Greenie's real lovely too, ok he's a bitch but I like him. Not that way though... Not really... God I sound like such a slut.

Good job nobody Will ever read this.

FIRST

Right from when I met her I knew I was hooked. Her fake smile, loud personality and wonderful eyes were all I needed to live. Each time we meet I try, try and try again to think of something meaningful and interesting to say. However it's not so easy is it? Not when there's so many reasons she should pick someone else.

Bonjour my name's Ellie and this is my life. I've never blogged before so bare with me.